this is for the non believers:
thank you God for the struggle because it makes the product of my efforts so much more worth while.
I have had some very bad friends in my lifetime. and because of the things they did to me and the person i allowed them to mold me into... i was and still can be very weary when it comes to trusting people. I know that God has his ways of showing me who I can trust and who is just for fun. Thank you God for Penny. After Dominique, I never thought i would welcome another female friend into my life. What she did to me almost caused me to be dumb enough to lose my life. i am glad i made it to today even if was just to say i did.
It is so easy to recognize how hard it is to be where we are. mad jobs, young, wanting stability, degrees that mean something, to shower, to not want to be sick anymore, to want an itch free life... but the challenge is to recognize the part that isnt a struggle. the struggle is the easy part. its like one of those pictures i used to love to look at when i was young. the optical illusions in the paper every sunday. everyone who looked at it could see the 17 colors in a trippy pattern but only those who cared could see the beautiful rainbow that popped out when you really looked. i think my life is like that. sure, im broke... often. i dont have the life i wanted exactly. i want my own spot. i want better friends. i wanna be someones number one.
but i have money to do everything i want (which is y im prolly broke), i live with the love of my life, our parents met and it went (i dont have a word to describe the perfection that happened when they met) great. i am on the way to forever with my baby and i am his number one. i have good friends. even when i dont wanna see that. i do. i am ur number one. yes there were others... but u chose me.
so the point is this is a part of life. we wil struggle. we cant move out of america and find a better life. we have to learn how to love our little life just like it is and say thank you for winning the pool and clippers. lol. thanks for diapers when u dont have anything else. lol. thank you for laughter bc in the end of the day thats what i raise my cup to. so... to another great day of a struggle that reassures me im alive and doing exactly what im supposed to. when life is too easy that just means somethings about to go wrong. good night earth...
