I have been meaning to write this forever. For months now actually and its crazy that my decision finally became a reality today bc today this means so much more to me than it once did. This is to you. You may not understand why you seem to come last in things like phone conversations and time spent cooling when your at work but the fact is your looking at the picture wrong. This when i first read it was so clearly a boy speaking even if the passage hadnt said she. bc this is how boys love. they show their love in ways you can see and many times poetic words that make you feel good when you hear them. Girls dont do this... i would have come to your door and seen ur eyes in an attempt to show the government that even a lack of words cannot stop my heart from how i love you. It will show in my eyes. just like the fury does when i am angry or the tears show when i am sad.
i am not saying that it is because i love you more but i believe that my words do not show you the amount of my love. when i first read this i almost cried, whether it be bc of emotional days or just simply bc i loved it and felt for the boy who meet silenced when he called. i feel like at night when you are working hard for us, you feel like this boy does... like i would use all my words on other friends and other people who u think i see as more important. i wouldnt. and if i ever did... i would do things just the way i do now. when talking in this world to me seems so overrated (and still seems to be the only thing you see) i give you love. I lay on you unlike i do on any other human. I roll around on you like i belong in ur face, in your heart, wrapped up between your legs. without speaking, i make a noise to signify happiness when you simply touch or kiss me when i am asleep... no speaking three words that are commonly over used will compare to how ur heart feels when you hear that sound. the fact that we have forehead kisses we could probably save every word for the ones that matter. the real words that will matter when all of this fades to black in a world where everything that seems to be good falls apart for no reason and you are alone. the words i would want you to say would be hello... you are safe with me. my smile would say everything back.
earlier i asked if you knew that when i walked that walk with my father i would be facing you... you said no. :( but who else would it be... bc i feel safe with you. no matter if my heart knows now or will know in three years. when it knows its ready to save those words. the most perfect words will belong to you. I do. Thank you for your patience with me. Thank you for understanding where I am right now. and thank you for being that man. The one who would save his words for me. No one will love me like you do. But know that although i may spend time talking to others or i may have run out of words... when my words are worth hearing.... i call you. and when everyone else who i talk to is gone... you will still be there. and most importantly... (and really the whole point) my love for you is perpetual and way stronger than words. Im sorry that I havent done a good job showing you that my words belong to you... but look at my eyes and into my heart, hear my loving sighs and look at me while i laugh and nuzzle into ur arms. no words can tell you more. all im asking is that you look beyond the words and trust in my heart. i love you.
p.s. just know i know for a fact that although the boy was sad because his girlfriend ran out of words, the girl was sadder bc she feels like she failed the man she loves. and cried true sad tears the whole time he spoke. I want you to know i would rather die than to fail you. I hope you understand that. To my love. My heart. My best friend. To you. My biggest fan. And my lover. Thank you. Please remember these things forever.
