Man of my Dreams

I feel like a lot of people in life expect you to settle for less than what you dreamed of as a child. I think most people go for what works ok or the best of the worst. I often think if there is the possibility of everyone in the world actually being happy. No one settling but instead searching for the right man/woman and falling in love and fighting for it to work through all ends. I cannot vouch for the rest of the world but I know I am happy. I was thinking the other day about the man that I would have dreamt about… the man I wanted to be my husband, the father of my kids, and my best friend for the rest of my life. I would want him to be funny, caring, compassionate, loving, intense, dedicated, loyal, smart, strong, have the qualities that my own father has. I always knew that I would marry a man that was just like my own pop… as he is my hero and my love. I have grown close to my dad in a way most young boys and girls can only dream of. He is my best friend and when my own children grow up, I want them to be able to say the same thing. I am sure they will be able to do that now. It is amazing that I have met you. You are the man of my dreams. People all around me have been saying you cant have it all so u go for what is the most. But you are my everything. You fill me where I am empty. The parts of me that im too scared no one will want… u not only love them, you make me want to show everyone. You love me so different than anyone I have ever met. Well this is to you…

The other night whenever you told me that you wanted to be engaged by next year, I wanted nothing more than to say yes right then. I am so anxious about being your wife my eyes are welling up with tears. You will be the best husband. No matter what you still love me. And I hope I have made it clear to you that no matter what I will still love you. You are not 60% of the man I want and I have learned to love the other 40%. You are not 90% of the man of my dreams and im dealing with the other 10%. You are everything 100% of the man God has created for me… and I thank you for finding me.

Once during the dark ages, I read u wrote on a napkin… “what do you love about me” the response was your smile and everything about you. How can you love “everything” about someone you don’t fully know? I love you for watching anime. I love you for trying to take me to a gaming store on a date. I love you for holding me when you know I need to be held even when I pretend to be strong. I love you for asking whats wrong when im smiling bc you know inside something has made me sad. I love you for being different. I love you so much for that. I love that you don’t know what day it is sometimes. I love ur look of confusion when I go to fast. I love that when everyone around u loves the raiders, u love the saints. And while they bump drake and wayne, u bump cudi. I love that smoking was easily for recreation for me. I love that you are so hopeful even when you don’t realize it. Your favorite sentence is “I got you bae.” I love that you have always got me. I love that you are becoming more trusting even though you think I don’t notice. I love your eyes and I love how intense they are when they look at me. I love your intensity… too much to express. Your intensity behind your writing, your drawings, but most of all your love for me. It is never too much. It is what keeps me warm when the world is cold. Thank you. So Much. I love the thought of you looking at me when I wake up. It never fails that when I open my eyes yours are looking at me smiling. I love that smile… its so big and happy. You have a smile that makes my troubles melt. Like you really know that it is going to be ok when you smile. Like whatever made u that happy is bigger than every issue. I love that everytime I pick up ur phone, I see myself in the background. I love when you smack my thighs and tell me how sexy I am. I love the idea of waking up with you. FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

I don’t know what you are getting my for Christmas but being back with you for 6 months and knowing that my love for u only grows stronger by the day is enough of a gift for me to live off of. I love you for supporting me even when I see that I haven’t given you every reason. You know me better than I know myself. But most importantly, thank you for being yourself with me. Because after peeling back layers and layers of damage from you and your life… I found the most precious diamond. One I will hold onto forever. Thank you baby for being comfortable and letting me love you for who you are… the man of my dreams.