Hopes for the Heartbroken

I planned on writing this blog about a month ago but I havent had a computer but I couldnt get the idea out of my head.

When you are in love, there are few things in life that will appeal to you more than being with that person. It is how friendships endand gradually how ur best friend stops being ur best friend and your boyfriend is (hoping that it will all be worth it bc in the end he will be your husband) and then ur friends understand and all is well. well... hopefully. Anyway... there are some things that will always appeal more than a loved one to me. And it is the only One that really matters. I am not the kind of person that I used to be. Im a lot more real and a lot less worried about if ppl hate me. But one thing changed in me that I hated. My love for what mattered.

Well... the point of this is not really anything I have written so far but really this one sentence. The greatest joy in life should never be invested in a human, but because we love so hard bc we were taught to do so... i have truly experienced what I believe is the truest form of happiness on Earth. Watching the man you love... surrender. There are not many men who surrender themselves out of fear of what other people may think. or more obviously out of pride that there is something greater than what they can do themselves. Well, I thank God everyday (literally) for having the chance to watch the man i love extend his arms and fall down and surrender to what will be better.

When you are in a place where you know that the devil himself has knock on ur door in an attempt to recruit you to what seems to be fun and what feels right... and still stand up after and allow yourself to be rained on. Poured down upon bc u know what it feels like to be drowning and the fresh feel of rain touching ur skin is an improvement from before when you lived submerged in the water. When you pray for rain doesnt mean that you want to suffer but that you will celebrate in the small successes.

Soon the rain will turn to a sprinkle and then to overcast and then finally into a beautiful day built for a picnic. and on that day... we will tell the world that we are one. and things will be better.

i promise.

thank you for going. thank you for loving me. thank you for reminding me how much i love you.