Let's "Settle" Down

So... this is my last thought of the night. But it has been on my mind forever. People crack me up. They think that if they have the essentials then they have reached some sort of "success."

I did not graduate on time
I do not have a career
I do not have a fabulous car
I do not have a million dollars
I do not have the perfect body
I am not the most beautiful girl to walk the Earth
I am not talented in any way.
I am not a certified genius
And I do not know where I will end up.

But...

I do know the final career path I have chosen will get me the job I want when I get out of school.
I have a job that is frustrating but I genuinely love.
I have a beautiful little car full of character that gets me to and from any destination I want to go from New Orleans to New York.
I do have enough money to have a good life. I may not always know how I am going to pay a bill... its hard being an adult... but I have taught myself more recently that I have what matters. I am going to get everything I want even if it takes a little while.
I have a beauiful body that I am comfortable in. I know girls that are gorgeous with coke bottle shapes and only see fat when they look in the mirror. You wont ever hear me say Im not fat... but you will know that I know I look good when I walk in anywhere.
And the same goes for beauty. I have heard ppl say why is fat she is ugly but I have heard waaaay more that I am so beautiful and honestly if i never heard it... I would know bc I look at myself in the mirror nothing says that my face is beautiful.
So maybe i cant sing, dance, write, draw, lick my elbow, or any other crazy talent... but I am so good at being a loyal friend. The only friends I really lose are the ones that stab me in the back. If I say I will stand by you... I will be there until you die. I love harder than anyone I met and not because I want people to love me back because I love some people who hate me. I dream every night of an old friend that I love so much it brings me to tears but it is over because of false rumors and sad realities. I will miss him forever. Bc I have learned to accept somethings. If i fought for everything and everyone I missed... I would die early from an excess of battle scars.
I know a boy who everytime he said anything he mentioned he was a genius. I also know a lot of people since I always went to "smart" schools... that are smarter than the average person and wont let anyone forget. Over use of big words when they are unnecessary... just to appear to be better than someone else. Im sure pointing out how amazing you are will get tiring eventually. Well it most def will if you ever wanna find someone to love. and he did... I hope. Well as for me... I have never had a problem in school. I have always done what I needed to be where I want to be and I have never felt the need to ask someone who got a lower test grade than me what they got so I can say I scored higher. I have always lived content with what I did without a comparison... unless it was in Logic bc I had to kno in order to help. lol.

And most importantly, no I dont have a five year plan and I cant thing of 20 get rich quick schemes... but I know who I am going with. I know who I will call every step of the way. I know that in the end, I will have my family and my best friends and my love at my side whether it be in Africa or in Alabama. I know that I love the people that I have chosen to love for a reason. And I know that I may not be as good as some of my friends who all graduated on time. But I know I am doing the same thing as them right now. I am working a dead end job just like they are. But I have not settled at any point. I have not settled for a JOEsmoe. I have fought for the man I loved. I have become friends with the most amazing people and finally stopped holding on so tightly to people who never had my best interests at heart. I did not settle for SHC and I did not allow my best friend to settle for LSU. I would have given the world for her then and would still now. I have allowed my friends to grow apart from me and watch the real ones call me back when they have no reason but wanting someone to love. I could have just been like fuck it imma be a teacher... but I dont want to lol. SO why would I be in that forever. I am proud to say... no matter how far I may have fallen behind I know when it is over when I sit at my kitchen table with my husband and sit with my family and have dinner... I will know that every moment was worth it and I am exactly where I wanna be.